Since I have no readers here

Since I have no readers here, I  can vent and I know no one will see. I feel like I just can't any longer. I am so tired and in constant pain. I feel like everything in my life is a battle, and I always end up losing.  I don't feel taken seriously and I don't have the resources to seek out the help I need.

I really like the Obgyn I saw for Emmett's birth, but I don't think he's the right fit for my treatment going forward. It's been since August 16th that I have had this pain and bleeding. At first we thought it was just postpartum, then it got worse, then the two surgeries, followed by a hospital stay, and medications to correct the problem. The problem is, they haven't corrected anything. I am still cramping, I am still bleeding, and I am still hurting every day. Nothing he's trying is working. I am so tired and do ready for this to be over. I feel like it's running my life and ruining my precious time with my boys.

I am going down deeper into my depression. I am trying everything to stop it, but honestly nothing is working. I swear I have PTSD from Jacob dying and since Emmett looks like him that's also been horrible too.

I think life lately has been too much to bear